Cue the sappy Vitamin C / John Mayer graduation song ...

About one and a half weeks ago Fulbright fed us for the last time. While this does mean no more snacking on Triscuits and cheese cubes (or just Triscuits if you've found yourself in line behind Keely Foutch) at swanky hotels, it does signal the coming of the end of my Fulbright grant year.
Our "final dinner" ... or "last supper" as I liked to call it, because everything just sounds better with a Biblical reference, took place in America. That's right, 'merica. 90+ of us Fulbrighters were herded to an American army base in Seoul for a buffet of semi-delicious food.
Sidenote: I've found that anytime Fulbright coaxes us into coming to a fancy dinner (a la Thanksgiving at the ambassador's, the annual Jeju or Gyeongju conference feasts, etc) I'm always a little let down after I've finished stuffing my face with the 3 vegetarian options. I don't know why, but it seems as if American or Western food is only good if it's actually served in America.
However, the dinner was pretty nice because all of us grantees were together one last time before we parted ways in hopes of spreading our wings, learning more about ourselves, and generally improving the planet. (At least that's what it seems like Fulbright thinks we will do ... so apparently they've heard my future plans of winning Chili's "Employee of the Month" [February] somewhere in or around Knoxville, Tennessee.)
Fun fact: About half of the grantees in my grant year (2009 - 2010 if you're not keeping track) have decided to stay in Korea for at least another year with the Fulbright program, teaching English and cultural ambassador-ing. And while I was definitely considering staying for another 12 months because I'm terrified of the kimchi withdrawals, I am happy to be returning to the states in mid August. Sorry Korea, it's not you, it's me.
So after listening to a couple obligatory "feel-good", "look what I learned", "my friend and I traveled to Macau one time and checked our e-mail" speeches, I stuffed my face with some foods and called it an evening.

Next on the agenda for the weekend was the final (spoiler alert) World Cup game for the Korean national team. The game started around 11 pm, which perfectly coincided with our final dinner and the fact that I needed at least 4 hours to digest 20 helpings of mashed potatoes.
I watched the game in Hongdae, a flashy college area in Seoul (home of Hongdae University ... the fightin' Koreans) with some Fulbright and some Korean friends. In the midst of the World Cup frenzy it should be noted that any attempt to watch a match in a public place requires an extreme amount of planning, a little luck, and a basic knowledge of Korean usually helps (but when doesn't it in Korea?). It is super difficult to score a place in any local bar / restaurant / place that has a television during and about 3 hours before game time. And add the fact that it was pouring down rain ... and you just get a whole wet mess (as opposed to a "hot mess") of trouble.
However, some of my Korean friends were able to snag a table in a small bar / restaurant and I was able to watch the game in the company of many a Korean fanatic.
And as I'm sure you all are well aware (most likely because of my aforementioned spoiler alert) Korea lost the game and was thus kicked out of the competition, ending all hopes of ever achieving Kim Yuna celebrity status - reserved for gold medalists only. It was a real bummer for everyone, although it was an exciting game (well, about as exciting as any soccer game can be ... I mean, 90 minutes of kicking around a ball on a gigantic field isn't exactly what I would call "crap your pants exciting" ... but few things are).
The real excitement of the night came when Korea scored its one and only goal and one of my Korean friends, in a fit of sheer excitement, fist pumped so hard (yeah, fist pumping is not held only to residents of New Jersey) that he fist pumped his hand all the way into a light bulb and cut his hand pretty badly. So much so that he immediately went to a hospital and later had to have surgery. If that's not dedication to your country, I don't know what is.
Yes I do.
What is = fist pumping at a normal intensity where one does not destroy their hand (and their dignity) while simultaneously cheering on their Asian country.

Last week Hwasun High School decided to be like every other high school in Korea and make their students suffer through a week of final examinations for the spring semester.
While this was major suck-age for every single student ... it was major awesome-age for me.
5 days, paid vacation?
Sure I'll take it.
During my week of awesome-age I didn't go anywhere.

After my week of finals vacation my school asked me to come back and finish teaching. So I decided to honor my contract and finish out the school year. I mean, to quit now would just be a waste of 51 weeks.
Although, to be fair, I don't really know if what I've been doing during my last week of school actually qualifies as "teaching". With 2 weeks before the students' summer vacation (which lasts only one week) and less than 100 hours before I'm on a plane out of Korea, it seems pretty much pointless to do anything remotely related to academics. Rather, I've spent each class period saying my goodbyes (all 500 of them), taking class pictures (because every Korean school child loves them a class picture), exchanging e-mail addresses, and letting my students write me the most ridiculously awesome goodbye letters.
Arming them with a blank sheet of paper and a Power Ranger marker (because at the local Hwasun marker store you can find only two varieties of marker: Power Ranger and Disney Princesses) I asked them to comment on class, what they've learned, what they haven't learned, how amazing English class is, how horribly awful English class is, etc. And amidst the many letters claiming how awesome I am and how much everyone loves me (because really, isn't that what this blog is really all about?) I've found these little jewels and thought I'd share:

"I think Nonen I'm always your face."

"I'll kill you. Give me e-mail. You better be careful."

"I'm so exciting and funny with your during 1 year. Last year, when I saw you first, your teach way a little stick and hard. But time is flow flow, you teach way is more than fun and activity!!! And I saw you first, I'm short than you, so that time I tell you "Oh. I and I'm short!!!". And present my height is as tall as you. Wow!!! Next year, may be I taller than you! During 1 year I'm happy and I will miss you. I meet you is my fate."

"You're my best E.T. I have ever meeted."

"Hi Lauren. I love you. But I don't love you because many girl love me, so girl want to hit you. Sorry. From David Beckham."
"I'm sexy Lee. I will superstar. Meet America."

"Im not good at English. Why? because we were interacted with body-ranguage!

"I miss you and I guess you don't miss my speech, "I have diarrhea!" because I have enteritis. Bye bye."

"Your class is very speciall for me. Expecially begining the class watch music video. I like that. I think you class is malty class. And if you lose weight more pretty. I think. Don't worry. You're pretty now."

"Lauren please. Picture and phone number for handsome guy and muscle man. Blond hair. Please. I love you. I'll wait."

"Lauren beautiful more than me. I hate beauty girl. But I want going U.S.A. so with me go U.S.A. Joke. Yes, I love you and I want handsome guy."

"Laluan. I like your English. Very fun. I'm sorry we are very ugly."

"Your first impresion is so tall and thin. I'm sure you can be a good teacher or something."

"I love English class. I'll miss ya. U R a nice teacher. Very kind and very sexy and hot. U know what I mean. God bless you."

"I'm sick. I'm dope. I'm cool. I'm sexy. Send e-mail please. Let's burn tonight."

"I like your class. Don't forget my high school. If you forget this memory, then I finding you and I hate you."

"Hi Lauren. Is this wonderful flower. Oh ...... oh ....... oh ...... Give me freedom five me fire give me reason take me highter. See the champions take me fools now. You exist finds you in the street now."

"Your English class is really funny and exciting. I will miss you forever and ever. Teacher, I love you. I'm not lesbian! I just respect you."

"Zoo!"

"I don't hate Lauren. But English is very very very hate."

"I love Lauren. Lady Gaga no sexy. Lauren is sexy much more. Lauren's pretty shoes."

"Bye Lauren. HI Lauren. I cant miss you. But I will sending e-mail often to you. Please don't forget me. Always be happy to you. From smallest boy."

"I love English. English is fantastic. English class is very fun and good. I write e-mail for you. Stomach cancer."

"I'm teaching fun. I'm you leaver sad."

"English class is good. I love this. Yo I got it. You got it?"

"Never forget kimchi."

While most all of my students are sad to see me go, many (mostly the girls) are super excited for the prospect of a "handsome American boy" to come teach them English. I've been taking requests for the next native teacher (because I totally have a say in it) and so far my students have requested everyone from "large black man" to "small white girl". One student also told me it would be really great if I could somehow find a half black and half white American, but none of this mixed stuff ... he actually requested someone who "look like ying yang".
I've also had to say goodbye to all the teachers and administrators at school. And while I'm not as close to them as I am with many of my students (mostly because they're quite a bit older and don't enjoy discussing Lady Gaga's sex change as much as my students do), it's been really sad to say goodbye, knowing that I'll probably never see their faces again.
However, with the end of the school year comes end-of-the-school year gifts ... all of which have been pretty glorious, in their special Asian way.

These gifts include, but are not limited to:

a small Korean house
potato cake
an entire watermelon
homemade fish soap
used headbands and earrings
thirty bucks
chopsticks and spoons
a song preformed by one of my most favorite teachers
about 10 fans
wine (which I was told could "destroy even men" ... whatever than means)
specially drawn Japanese anime cartoons depicting myself as the heroine
... and any other random crap students have in their pockets

I'm coming back to America with some pretty legit swag.

And as this week was my final week at school, it was also the last week spent with my host-family. I actually said a tearful goodbye to them this morning, as I headed to Seoul / Incheon. It was super difficult to say goodbye, knowing that it's possible I may never see them again. While they currently have plans to visit the states in a couple years after Eun Sue, the youngest daughter, graduates and I hope to return to the ROK sometime within the next 10 years (after I do all the grown up stuff I'm planning and have some grown-up [non-Fulbright] money) ... I know it will be a while until my host-mom makes me another ketchup-peanut butter-jelly-egg-cabbage sandwich and my host-brother makes me listen to ridiculously awful music.
Sidenote: Sang Che, my host-brother, recently broke up with his girlfriend and as he drove me to the bus terminal today (about a 45 minute drive) we listed to one song over and over, on repeat. And while the majority of the song was in English, I could very well understand that it was most likely his way of dealing with their breakup. I get the whole "this sucks, my 12 year old girlfriend broke up with me" ... but 1 song over and over for 45 minutes, come on.
So as of now, I'm officially on my own in Korea ... lugging around 2 gigantic suitcases (which weigh at least 2 million pounds) ... waiting to return to the greatest nation on God's green Earth.

But before I land in those amber waves of grain I've set aside about 1 month to travel ... putting those awesome blossoms on hold for just a little longer.
And since I will be traveling and thus outside the range of regular Internet service, I'm explaining in advance for my future lack of blogging. However, if you'd still like to keep tabs on me, here is my travel schedule so you don't have to do any of this "Carmen San Diego" business.

July 11th: I'm leaving the glorious nation that is the Republic of Korea and heading to Vietnam and Cambodia for a 2 weeks tour with some of my Fulbright friends. We will be stopping off at Hanoi, some beaches along the Vietnam coast, and finally reaching Siem Reap and checking out something called Ankor Wat. I hear it's kind of a big deal.

On the 23rd of July I'll be returning to the ROK for one last day of Asian before leaving the country forever. Forever ever ... ever ever.

I will then be headed for a week layover (thanks Fulbright) in Honolulu ... putting my feet down in real American soil. Or sand. Pretty sure soil doesn't exist in Hawaii.

After perfecting the art of the hula hoop, I will then venture to Austin, Texas to visit some of my most awesome friends Miss Kathy James and Miss Lara Kramer (blog shoutout! ... that's a big deal) for a week of cowboy boots, forgetting the Alamo, and looking at all the big things down in Texas.

When I have finally had my fill of Texican food, I figured I might as well head "home" home to the greatest mid-sized state ever ... the "crossroads of America" ... Indiana itself. I will be landing in the mother land August 9th, so everyone who is anyone better have some macaroni and cheese ready for me at the arrivals gate.

And as this is my last ever blog post from Korea, I know what you all must be thinking. "Oh! I'm so sad! Lauren is so awesome at writing down everything she does (because it is so cool) and now that she's no longer living in a foreign country doing cool things she will probably stop writing things down on the Internet!" (You think in run-on-sentences)
Fear not, friends.
I've been considering my post-Fulbright blogging life (probably just as seriously as I've been considering my post-Fulbright working / adult life) and I've decided to remain a part of the Interwebs, continuing to relay my thoughts and happenings to the larger cyber world.
Right now, once returning home I'm planning to move to Knoxville, Tennessee ... in hopes of finally meeting Justin Timberlake when he returns home to do his laundry ... and take an eight to ten month job (preferably at the neighborhood Chili's) while applying to graduate school, studying for the GRE, and being an all-around awesome 23 year-old.
And while my post-Korea life will probably not be as unique / hilarious / full of Asian as 2009 - 2010 was, I promise to keep my blog as non-sucky as I can ... relying on my friends, family, and the kind townsfolk of Knoxville, Tennessee to provide blog worthy stories.
Friends, family and kind townsfolk of Knoxville, Tennessee: You have your work cut out for you. You'll be following some of the most interesting and hilarious people (read: all of Korea) I've ever met.