This week I discovered that my school recently blocked Facebook from any of its school computers. While this travesty pretty much puts an end to the record-breaking amount of time I would usually put towards chatting or general procrastination ... it does, however, mean an increase in blogging.
Two weeks ago Hwasun High School held one of the greatest sports spectacles in the history of sports spectacles. The annual “Hwasun High School sports day” ... and it rivaled the Beijing games, both in the sheer athletic ability displayed by all participants, and in the Asian-ness.
Sports day was held in the local Hwasun multi-purpose gymnasium ... because the school decided that its gymnasium (which is the size of a small coat closet) just wasn’t big enough. So I headed down to the gym around 8 am (helping my host-mom, who was in charge of feeding all the teachers because she was recently appointed captain of all the parents) carry in boxes of kimchi. Actual boxes of kimchi, of which I ate none.
I then was able to watch the grand parade of classes (at least that’s what I called it) ... where each of the 1st and 2nd grade classes preformed for all the teachers and the school principal. Each class prepared a 2-3 minute dance and/or some type of entertainment as they walked into the gym, Olympic style. The performances consisted mostly of the students imitating famous K-pop dance moves to the latest Korean jamz, so really just some fancy arm moves and pelvic thrusts. (Something that the Beijing Olympics were really lacking).
What was so great, was that the pelvic thrusting was directed right at the school principal, who honestly seemed to enjoy it.
After the performances ... and a 20 minute stretching drill where all the students lined up and did synchronized stretching to music that I believe was actually titled “Land of the Morning Calm” (which was surprisingly scary) ... so began sports day.
The day basically consisted of students battling in badminton (because they’re Asian), ping pong (because they’re really Asian), couples dodgeball (because they’re absolutely adorable), jump rope (because they’re 5 years old), and tug of war (because Korea is actually at war).
The students had a great time because really, who wouldn’t rather play some badminton instead of learning about whatever it is that they actually learn about inside super hot and smelly classrooms. It was pretty much a free day to have fun and be children, something that Korea’s not very good at promoting. But when they do have fun, it is organized, awesome, Sports Day fun.
Unfortunately I didn’t get to participate in any sports during this Sports Day, and was only an observer. None of the teachers really played any of the sports ... besides the gym teacher who is so scary I didn’t even want to challenge in badminton (because I seriously think that he could have killed me via shuttlecock). So observe I did, and had a great time.
I also got some free french fries.
As you will remember from reading my last blog posting (because you’re still reading, right?) my host brother Sang Che has recently acquired a new girlfriend.
And this girlfriend is baller.
She pretty much speaks 3.5 languages (the .5 sadly being English ... the 3 being Korean, German, and Japanese) and is soon heading to Germany in order to practice one of her 3.5 languages ... and I’m pretty sure it’s German. Anyways, Sang Che recently informed me (via translator host-mom) that his new girlfriend has decided that when she has a family and children, she will speak to her children in all 3.5 languages, so they too can be baller.
This worries poor Sang Che, in that he functions in only 1 language (that being German) ... (no, it’s Korean) and he is scared that when he marries this girl and they have insanely cute Korean children, he will have no idea what she is saying to them.
This should be noted: the fact that Sang Che is planning to marry her after only 1 solid month of dating speaks volumes of the Korean dating mentality, because after 3 dates you’re pretty much wearing complete couple attire ... i.e. matching couple shirts, pants, shoes, headbands (really), scarves (if it’s cold), rings, glasses, etc ... pretty much anything that you can put on your body is made in pairs for obnoxiously adorable couples to proudly display their couple-ness.
So Sang Che has come to me in hopes of learning English, explaining that he wants to be able to talk to his future children in at least 1.5 languages.
I’m not totally sure how this will work, but we will see.
I was recently given my own English classroom at school because:
“Rauren teacher is too loud.”
It looks fancier to have the foreign teacher teaching in a more high-tech classroom (high tech = functioning computer) when important people come visit school, i.e. parents, superintendents, President Bak ...
The classroom is actually really sweet, I’ve got my own computer and “Cyber Computer Board” which the students touch at least once a week in hopes of it transforming into a touch board, and I can arrange the desks in anyway I please.
“Oh hey you’re going to be sitting in rows this week. But watch out, because next week you’ll have to maneuver around the desk maze I created when bored during 3rd period.”
And besides from my students not bringing anything to write with to class (because obviously they wouldn’t need a pencil in English class, but instead cartons of milk, their cell phones, chopsticks, and/or clothes hangers ... all of which they have brought to class) and it being about 1 million degrees inside, it’s actually quite nice.
Went to Seoul last weekend, and after some searching (that little phrase has been used one too many times, but I really did some searching) made a quick $300.
Well, not so much “quick” ... more like “extremely painful, slow, agonizing” $300. But that’s neither here nor there.
I signed up to be a proctor for a pretty intense English test some Koreans (and a dude from Brazil) took in order to be a CFA ... which means either “Certified Financial Analyst”
“Corporate Financial Analyst” or “Cool Foreign Ambassador”. It was basically an insanely difficult test (all in English) for them to take in order to work abroad doing stuff involving money.
So I proctored the exam, proctored meaning standing around for 6 hours making sure all the future “Cool Foreign Ambassadors” weren’t cheating on their tests.
It was super fun and I would definitely do it again.
On opposite day.
Last week I had Wednesday off school, due to South Korea being a democratic country and holding elections. Pretty much no one went to work / school / the kimchi fields and took a whole day to decide who they wanted to run their local town / city / kimchi field. Me being a foreigner and not being allowed to vote, I celebrated by treating myself to a movie ... “The Prince of Persia and the Sands of Time”. And after sitting through 1 and a half hours of Jake Gyllenhaal trying to act in a desert, I think I rather would have voted all day.
But election day was great because that meant the end of campaigning ... something Koreans are obnoxiously good at doing.
Each potential politician is given or raises a certain amount of campaign money, which they put to use by hiring ajummas (super old Korean ladies) to dress in insanely bright neon colored shirts to:
Hand out business cards
Talk people up outside the grocery store / bank / post office / kimchi field
Stand in the middle of intersections and bow to cars as they pass through
Sing and dance on the side of the street (really) in a synchronized fasion
and
Play super annoying campaign music outside your house at 7 am (that is usually set to the tune of either “Joyful, Joyful” or “We will Rock You”)
For what it’s worth, I guess I’m pretty glad I’m living in South, and not North Korea ... but these past couple weeks in the height of the campaigning frenzy have really made me wonder exactly what it would be like not having to endure the “Joyful, Joyful Rocking” and just accept the fact that Kim Jong Ill fell from heaven riding on the wings of a unicorn.
On Tuesday of this week, my school decided to be awesome and schedule me to teach 6 classes in one day ... all back to back ... with only a one hour lunch break.
The reason? Because it was Parent’s Day at school, meaning that the teachers had to teach “open classes” and all the parents who didn’t have anything better to do (i.e. my host-mom) came to school to check out what their children are actually learning, if anything.
So the school, in it’s infinite wisdom, decided: “Oh hey. Let’s have Rauren teacher teach 6 classes ... and we will switch around her classes so the douchiest ones are in the morning (when most of the parents come) ... and then lets give all the students crack-cocaine so they are super loud and annoying ... and then lets make all these scary old women watch her.”
Actually, it wasn’t nearly that bad, but it was pretty awesome teaching the same lesson 6 times over and over, with parents standing in the back of the classroom, having pretty much no idea what is going on.
Hint: sarcasm.
So I wasn’t really that stressed out, because whatever I said (so long as it was in English) was super impressive to the teachers and parents because I:
Don’t speak English with a Korean accent.
Speak English fairly well.
and
Am pretty tall.
Parent’s Day = dominated.
And what exactly did I teach while all these parents who were checking out my 178 centimeters?
Well, nothing really. I had the students race to answer 10 logic puzzles (in English) and threw some candy at the winning team.
But I chalked it up to “creative” learning and the Koreans went crazy for it, because it’s one thing that the Korean school system is definitely lacking.
Here are some of the puzzles I gave my students.
Give them a whirl.
And remember, these puzzles are in your native language ... unlike for my students (who were able to answer all of them in a 40 minute period).
Unless, of course, you are a student and both found and are reading my blog on the Interwebs. In that case, touche student.
1. Put a math symbol between (5 __ 9) to make a number bigger than 5 and smaller than 9.
2. Two girls were born to the same mother, on the same day, at the same time, in the same month, and in the same year.
But they are not twins.
How is this true?
3. How can you add eight 8’s to equal 1,000? (use only addition)
4. What letter comes next in this sequence?
J ... F ... M ... A ... M ... J ... J ... A ... __ ... O ... N ... D
5. How can you cut a cake into 8 parts with just 3 cuts?
6. In the equation: 101 - 102 = 1, move one number in order to correct it.
7. An electric train is traveling south. The wind is blowing from the north. What direction does the train’s smoke blow?
8. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 die. How many are alive?
9. How much dirt is in a hole 3 meters x 3 meters x 3 meters?
10. How can you throw a ball and have it come back to you?
It doesn’t bounce off anything.
Nothing is attached to it.
No one catches and throws it back to you.
Want to know if you’re as smart as a 17 year old Korean kid?
Check back next week for the answers.
That’s right. Cliffhanger.
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