Back to life, back to reality. School is so "En Vogue".

So I’d thought I’d update my blog.
I mean, it’s not like I haven’t waited long enough already.
And this time I’ll try not to write such a long one ... as I’ve heard some complaints that my last one was “too long”. I forgot that it was illegal to read more than 2,000 words at once. Sorry.

I’m actually writing this entry in a coffee shop, something I’ve never done before. I’ve found that since living in Korea I have become more keen on the idea of bringing my laptop to a coffee shop, ordering some hot chocolate (because, let’s face it ... I’m not grown up enough for coffee yet), and acting like I have important work to do.
And I’ve found that I am surprisingly more productive in a public setting. As I usually do all my work (work consists of lesson planning, e-mailing, and blogging - tough, I know) in the comfort of my own room, usually in my pajamas, I’ve found that this causes me to fall victim to sleep and general procrastination. So I’m now surrounded by even more Asians, and attempting to look like I have a really important job that necessitates me working from a coffee shop.

Things have been pretty exciting over here in Korea. It’s March ... which means not only is this the season for madness, but also for the second semester of school to begin.
However, I should first relate all that happened during the end of my winter break, after I returned back to Korea from traveling in and around South East Asia.
I visited Jeju for a second time ... Jeju being Korea’s largest island ... located somewhere either southeast or southwest of Korea (it depends on exactly which map you are looking). Just think Hawaii meets Asia, minus the whole volcano thing and plus a few extra tons of mandarins.
The main reason of my trip to Jeju was twofold: some of my friends who live on the island decided to turn 23, and it also happened to be the week of the self-proclaimed “awesome Jeju Fire Festival”. So I hopped on a plane hoping to see some fire ... both in the form of a festival and probably some on a couple birthday candles.
The birthday festivities were glorious, and I had a stellar time. The fire on the birthday cake was awesome.
However the fire at the festival paled in comparison to that which I witnessed on the birthday cake. Seriously.
The festival was held in in what appeared to be (I would say hell ... but there’s fire in hell) a constant rainstorm. The entire week/weekend was dreary and rainy, which I’ve heard isn’t too conducive to fire. So we rolled up to the festival in Jeju’s finest airport bus and witnessed a large field filled with Korean selling various things (including but not limited to squid, model airplanes, corn-dogs, and oranges). If that doesn’t scream Korean festival, I don’t know what does.
Besides the many street vendors, there was a pretty awesome mountain hidden behind what I can only deem to be the foggiest fog ever. From what I understand, the mountain was supposed to be lit on fire, however since no one could find it (I’m guessing they didn’t check behind all the fog) it was not. So we wandered around for a while and found the second greatest attraction ... a rope making contest.
I’m sure you all know how much I love a good rope making contest, so I squeezed my way to the front of the crowd (easily bypassing the other 4 people who were watching) and took some pretty stellar pictures to commemorate the moment I watched twine being turned into rope.
It’s the small things in life.
After we had our fill of no fire and some good rope, we headed out, thinking our time would be best spent hanging out and watching Kim Yu Na’s gold medal performances for the 25th time.

Side-note: Kim Yu Na is pretty much the Korean crack/krack over here. She’s basically the equivalent of all 3 Jonas brothers rolled into one giant sandwich, with a side dish of Hannah Montana, and topped off with an Obama after dinner mint.
I’ve seriously never seen anyone more loved, respected, and worshipped outside of God the Father himself.
They literally play her Olympic performances back to back, day after day. They do, however, take some time out to also replay the performances of other Japanese and Western figure skaters, only to exclaim how sucky they are in comparison.
Continuing this side-note (so really, more like a side paragraph) Olympic coverage here has been pretty subpar ... if that reference is even viable seeing that golf isn’t a winter sport. The only things really given any thought in Korea were figure skating (see above), speed skating, figure skating, bobsled, figure skating, and a couple minutes were usually dedicated to how big of a douche Apollo Ohno is. Although, to be honest, I really didn’t keep up much with the Olympics ... in that my host family doesn’t have a TV emits anything but green static. So I don’t know if I should be your go-to person for all things Korean and Olympic ... but really, what other option do you have?
A newspaper? We all know that no one reads those things anymore.

So, without further adieu ... it’s that time of year again (Well yes, it is tax time) ... but it’s also back to school time, if you currently live in the Western hemisphere.
In Korea, the new school year starts in early March, meaning I now have a job again and am no longer allowed to travel around and/or stay in my pajamas until noon. But returning back to my grown up life isn’t too bad, although it can’t quite compare to seeing new and exciting places, while eating only samosas and chocolate soymilk ... which did, I’m proud to say, happen.
The new school year has brought many things to Hwasun High School. Things such as 300 new first grade students (brought up from the middle school semi-pro leagues), a new teacher’s office for me (this one even has a heater!), a brand new co-teacher (well, not really “brand-new”, in that she’s about 50 years old), and around 20 new fellow teachers, most of whom I thoroughly enjoy.
The new semester started off really well, as long as “really well” means not knowing when/where/whom I teach, not having a desk for about 2 days, and realizing that during winter break my school decided it’s totally cool for the construction crew to come through my old office and literally throw my belongings everywhere. Everywhere.
I had a pair of socks I keep at school (for, like, when my feet get cold ... folded up in a ball, like you taught me, Mom) and when I came back my socks were literally at the farthest parts of my old office, no longer paired together.
I have no idea why anyone would want to touch my socks, yet alone throw them around, but the Korean construction workers evidentially had a ball with them. (Although it wasn’t an actual ball, because they were no longer balled together).
So my first couple days at work (besides teaching classes) was spent reorganizing absolutely everything that I once had organized, and put my school-life back together again.
Because everyone knows that my real adult-life is shamble-less.
(That last sentence was intended to be sarcastic, not pretentious.)
However, my new functioning teacher’s office is great ... way better than the cold hole I once was subjected to.
There’s heat, teachers that enjoy talking to me, and a printer that works. Anything and everything a girl could ask for.
As I said earlier, my school got many new teachers this year ... some of which are awesome, and some of which I’m pretty sure are kind of terrified of me.
Korea’s public school system forces its teachers to change or rotate schools every 3 years or so ... not allowing teachers to remain at the same school for very long. This means that every couple years a whole new batch of teachers are shipped in to Hwasun, and many leave to teach at different schools.
I’m not totally sure how I feel about this ... it has its goods and bads. Students can never fully form good relationships with many teachers, if they are constantly leaving, and it also shuffles important school work (like Lauren’s paycheck) to various teachers and administrators, some of whom have no idea what they’re doing.
However, the new teachers are really nice ... and it’s oddly gratifying when they come to me with questions, seeing as I’m now one of the “more experienced” teachers.
Even if those questions mostly involve the location of certain things, i.e. bathroom, printer, etc. It still makes me feel important.
I also got a new co-teacher (pretty sure I already mentioned that) and she’s legit. She’s way more helpful with things around school and seems to enjoy doing her job. Not that my other co-teacher wasn’t great ... but she didn’t seem all into the “let’s help the foreigner” thing as much as my new one is. Also, she speaks way better English, and seems pretty proud of it. She actually speaks to the students in English (something none of the other English teachers do ... even me, I use French) and the students seem pretty entertained with it, when they’re not horribly confused.
And for punishment, my new co-teacher often has rowdy students come to our office in pairs and rehearse a dialogue together, where one is always Oprah Winfry, and the other is a random guest.
I seriously love this part of school.
If i could just make my students speak to me like Oprah Winfry all day, I totally would. Maybe even get one of those yellow couches for them to jump on.
As for my new students, they all seem pretty decent. I’ve not had any trouble with them, yet, and they all seem to be way into the whole “American” thing I’ve going for me.
There are two other foreign English teachers in Hwasun, who work at the two middle schools (and apparently want nothing to do with me). They’re both Canadian, so I can only assume that they’d rather be playing ice-hockey or getting free health care than hanging out with me. However, my students think my being from America is infinitely more awesome than being from Canada, and rightfully so.
One class even applauded when I told them I was born and raised in the USA. Then we sang some Toby Keith and had fake gun fights. But that’s neither here nor there.

I saw recently saw “Alice in Wonderland”. I know that’s not really exciting, because most of you probably saw it too ... but I wanted to point out that I’m not too far removed from all things American and wonderful.
I thoroughly enjoyed the movie ... so much better than Avatar ... but then again, what isn’t?
Titanic.

Last week my co-teacher came to me with “an important English question”. And seeing that I’ve pretty much got the right-of-way when it comes to important English things, I had to tactfully explain to her the best way in which to phrase a new sign they’re making for my high school.
Apparently the school has taken it upon itself to make English signs for each room in the school ... something I welcome with open arms.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve accidentally wandered into the cafeteria, thinking it was the restroom. Actually, I can. It’s zero times.
But my school thought this would be hip and cool and show how “international” they are ... so they presented me with the question, “How do we best phrase ‘Sex difficulties counseling room’.
One, I had no idea that room ever existed. Two, why is it necessary to have an entire room dedicated to that one topic? And what exactly does that entail? In a country where opposite-sex hand-holding is pretty much forbidden until you’re at least 25, I seriously question what’s going on in there.
But I told them it would probably be best to go with an acronym. Something like “SDR” ... “Sex Difficulties Room”.
You had no idea how hard it was for me not to suggest something like “Sexy-Time Room”.

I’m now taking my own lunch to school. Now I know what you are all thinking, “Man, I really was concerned about Lauren’s whole lunch situation.” ... Well, thankfully I’m informing you now. In December I found out (and by “found out” I mean my co-teacher finally decided to tell me) that since August I’ve been paying about 2,000 won a day (roughly $2,000 ... just kidding ... about $2.00) for my lunch - which usually consists of white rice and a spoonful of kimchi that I always put on my plate to make it look like I actually like the stuff.
I decided that this was pretty sucky, so I asked my co-teacher if I could start bringing my lunch, and hopefully stop paying for the fermented cabbage that always finds it way to the trash can.
I got the school’s approval (asking nicely and trying not to appear like I’m throwing up a big “suck it” to the school cafeteria) and am now happily toting a giant blue lunchbox to school everyday. My host-mom gladly makes my lunch every morning, which is great. However, this does mean that I now get a surprise “look what I put in your lunchbox!” every afternoon.
She always puts in way too much food ... thinking that not only is she feeding a growing American girl (I’m always growing) but also the entire American army that I brought with me.
Lunch usually consists of: a salad (with mayonnaise dressing ... because seriously, who doesn’t love mayonnaise?), 3 oranges (I like to juggle during lunchtime), about 10 cookies (I should gain about 30 pounds, right?), and always one of the most original / inventive / absolutely crazy sandwiches I’ve ever eaten.
And the term “sandwich” is used loosely. Anything that is smushed between two pieces of bread can constitute a sandwich, so thinks my host-mom. So I usually end up eating something like this: a peanut butter - apple jelly - fried egg - cabbage - mayonnaise - tofu - cucumber - whole strawberries sandwich. I only wish I was making that up.
But honestly, it’s way more delicious than anything that comes out of the school’s cafeteria. Except for the yogurt. That stuff is legit.

This past week there has been about 20 various flower arrangements delivered to the house ... all about 3 feet tall. This means two things. One, the house smells like the inside of a Yankee’s Candle store (something I’m not too fond of). And two, I now get cutesy little flowers in my lunchbox everyday ... usually the almost dead ones my host-mom chops off the arrangements and sticks next to my glorified sandwiches.
The flowers are a result of my host-sister Eun Lae’s (the grown up one, not the high schooler) new job as a middle school art teacher.
When I arrived in Korea, I was told (by my host family) that Eun Lae was still an undergrad art student. Fine. About 2 months later I was then informed that Eun Lae isn’t a student, but actually teaches classes at a local university in Gwangju. Ok. However about 2 more months later my host-mom told me Eun Lae just started taking classes for her PhD. Alright. (I’m guessing she’ll be a UN diplomat sometime within the next few months ...)
However, last week I was told she recently applied, tested, and interviewed for a teaching job at a local Gwangju middle school ... and surprise, she got it. In Korea, teaching jobs are extremely difficult to come by (so long as you’re not an English speaking foreigner with a 5th grade diploma). And when I say “extremely difficult to come by”, I mean just that.
Unlike in the states, teachers here (of all subjects / caliber) are super duper respected ... something about them being smart or whatever. And in a country where knowledge is valued, teaching is one of the most desired professions among my generation, and even my students’ generation (If we’re not in the same generation ... I have always been confused as to when one generation ends and another one begins).
So competition is fierce (just imagine Tyra Banks saying that) among want to be teachers. Eun Lae first had to pass a written exam ... and only the top 3 scores were then asked back for an interview. She made it through (as expected) and apparently had good interview skills because she is now the proud owner of a brand new job. Something about 10% of American’s sadly can’t say.
This means I now see her less and less ... as she is now at school and/or with her boyfriend about 23 hours out of the day. I also lost my ride to school.

I was walking home last week, leaving school, and one of the most hilarious / amazingly disgusting things happened to me. I left at the time in the afternoon when students are allowed to get snacks and be outside of their classrooms for more than 5 minutes ... and I came across a group of 3rd grade boys (ones I taught last semester) who started asking me the standard questions:
“Where going you?” “Why going there?” “How handsome am I?”
As we were talking, one boy started retelling a story that happened in my class last year (Basically a time I started freaking out on a kid who I thought punched another kid, only to find out that it was one of those fake punch things with the loud noise - which is still really douchey). One kid started to laugh ... and laugh so hard that he vomited up all the ice cream he was then eating. In the school parking lot. Everywhere.
I found this extremely hilarious, but another student was so appalled by his fellow classmate’s behavior (that he would vomit in front of a teacher ... a foreign teacher, no less) exclaimed, “Rauren! I protect you!” and ran over to stand in the pile of vomit, so as to shield my eyes from it.
This has now made its way up to the very top of “Lauren’s best vomit stories”.

Last week my school decided to do some standardized testing (along with every other high school in Korea) ... so this meant that I had the day off work. Never did I think I would come to love standardized testing as much as I now do.
On this particular day off from school, I visited my friend Rachael who lives and teaches at a girls middle school in Mokpo. I had never visited or observed a school other than my own (I visit and observe Hwasun High School like it’s my job) ... so this trip to Mokpo was pretty interesting, in that I got to witness another Fulbright teacher teach, at a school that was strikingly different from my own. For one thing, all her middle school students were much smaller than mine. But that’s pretty much a given.
What I found particularly interesting was how different the classroom and overall school atmosphere was, when there are no male students and only a handful of male teachers.
As the Spice Girls would say, they’re really employing some “Girl Power!”.
At Hwasun High School the gender ratio of students is about 50 - 50%, male and female, respectively. And as my classes are also mixed gender, the classroom is usually always about split down the middle with boy and girl students. I’ve found that in my mixed gender classes the boys are usually the ones who dominate the class ... in both good and bad ways. In a country (Korea) where gender equality isn’t what I would call “equal”, Korean males usually have a larger and somewhat more respected place in society, and in the classroom.
I mean, women aren’t socially allowed to smoke cigarettes on the street, where old men think it’s more than ok to spit about 3 inches away from my shoes, every 5 seconds.
(How old men still have that much spit in their mouthes is beyond me.)
So at Rachael’s all girls school, I was pleasantly surprised to see many of the female students being much more outspoken than a lot of my high school girl students. Also ... their being middle school students, and having the luxury of 7+ hours of sleep each night (instead of the 4 or so the majority of my high school students receive) they have way more energy and are not victims of falling asleep in class. However, this comes with both the good and bad. Where my main disciplinary problems come with having to wake sleeping students so they can listen to my fun and exciting talk about prepositions, middle school students apparently have more behavioral problems. I mean, when you’re 13 “behavioral problem” is pretty much your middle name .. if it’s not already “awkward teenager”. (Except for me. I was awesome.)
All in all, I really enjoyed visiting another school and seeing another teacher teach ... even if her students asked if I was pregnant.
Yeah, that happened. Probably won’t be wearing that dress again any time soon.

So that’s been my life for the past 2 or 3 weeks.
More to come later, after I’ve lived for another week or so.