Oh Baby, baby it's a wild world: Hanging with Cat Stephens

Woah. It's been a while since I have last posted.
I blame it on two things. One, I have been pretty busy lately ... traveling, teaching, being awesome, etc. ... and two, my school recently blocked my blog web-site, thus making it more difficult for me to find time to blog, not being able to do so at school. Apparently my thoughts now reside in a "Restricted area" and are unsuitable for Korean high school children. Good thing they don't let me actually teach them.

Well, last week was Thanksgiving ... as if you all didn't know that. And even though I'm all the way over here in Korea, I still managed to find time to embrace my American-ness and be in the vicinity of a giant, slaughtered bird.
However, I didn't teach my students anything about Thanksgiving. Not necessarily because Thanksgiving is kind of a boring holiday (I mean, the crux of it is eating a bird and doing the obligatory "I'm thankful for ... [which I still don't understand why that should be limited to only one day]) but because I couldn't think of anything more creative or fun than making the standard 'hand turkeys'. And since many of my girl students constantly complain that their hands are way too small and thus unattractive, I felt it was best not to put their tiny hands on display.

I did, however, give a Thanksgiving presentation at the local Gwangju 'merican Corner for adults interested in practicing English/improving their English/listening to me talk (and really, who wouldn't want to do that?)
The American Corner is a a room (that is not in the shape of a corner, I should add) in the Gwangju library that is dedicated to all things American. It's basically a room filled with apple pie, hot dogs, and Toby Kieth performs there about every other Wednesday.
Actually, it's a really nice resource for Koreans who want to learn more about American culture, English, and read/check out English resources (i.e. books, DVDs, and Toby Kieth lyrics).
So I gave a presentation with another Fulbright ETA about Thanksgiving and volunteer programs in the US. Strange pairing of topics? Maybe ... but I have yet to find anything in Korea that actually makes sense to me.
The presentation was attended by about 10 Koreans (around 30-40 years old), who had relatively high English skillz and were super interested in absolutely everything we said. After a viewing of "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" (because what is a better appetizer for American Thanksgiving than a movie idolizing Greek culture?), we spoke for about an hour and fielded all kinds of questions about American culture (you should have seen me ... I was like a young Jeter out there).
What I have found in most of my teaching experiences in Korea is that most all Koreans are extremely interested in American culture and knowing exactly what we all "do". The people at the Corner were fascinated when I would recant the glorious-ness that is the Wendling/Loft family Thanksgiving traditions. They also very much enjoyed sharing with me their traditions of Chusok (which we celebrated a couple months ago) and thought it was fascinating that there are many similarities between the Korean and American holidays. Look at that ... cross cultural education at its finest.

In addition to talking at the 'merican Corner, I was able to celebrate Thanksgiving in a more traditional way at the US Ambassador Kathleen Stevens' crib (do cool people still say "crib"?) in Seoul. Every year she holds a Thanksgiving dinner for all the Fulbright ETAs ... complete with Thanksgiving deliciousness. The dinner was really nice and I managed to eat my weight in absolutely fabulous food. I attempted to eat as much as humanly possible so as to store as much food as I could in my body to hold me over until I come home. That strategy worked pretty well.
Along with dinner we all got to (or had to) schmooze some fancy-pants friends of the ambassador ... mostly foreign service workers or high ups in the Fulbright Korea program. Although it was nice to dine with said fancy-pants ... it was a little dull, in that the dinner conversation primarily consisted of "Where are you from? Oh! I might have some idea where that is. Where did you go to school? Ah, I'm going to say that is interesting, although I'm just being polite."
But after dinner (during the digestion stage of Thanksgiving) we were all treated to some pretty stellar entertainment from fellow ETAs. Everyone was asked if they wanted to perform any type of entertainment for the ambassador, however only a few actually complied. (I didn't feel the ambassador's place was the best place in which to break out my Napoleon Dynamite dance). But the few brave ETAs that did show off displayed their ability to play the violin, perform slam poetry, and sing/play guitar.
All in all I had a nice Thanksgiving ... about as nice of a Thanksgiving that can be had so far away from home. My only complaint - macaroni and cheese was ob-soh-yo (non-existent) at dinner. My first non-vegan Thanksgiving in a couple years and I still can't seem to find any macaroni.
Christmas. I'm expecting it. I'm talking to you, Betty Lou.

After stuffing stuffing (word play!) up to my lungs (seriously ... I don't know if there was any room for air), we were all herded ... literally herded ... out of the ambassador's house on Friday evening after dinner. However, I stayed in Seoul for the weekend with friends and had a grand time. It was super nice to have a weekend in an actual city (with nightlife!) and with people who can differentiate their "L"s from "R"s.
The main part of my weekend in Seoul was spent shopping, enjoying the nightlife, eating more delicious (and thus not Korean) food, and being completely dominated by the Seoul metro system. After losing my metro card (which is actually called a T-Money card ... I think Tupac had something to do with it), buying a new one, losing that one, and then buying my third T-money card, I was out about 20,000 won (roughly a million USD) ... and I was really in some T-pain.
But the weekend was a success ... a nice break from the sprawling metropolis of Hwasun.

Change of topics.

Last week (as a sort of kick-off to all the Thanksgiving festivities) I attended one of the most spectacular things I have ever seen ... my school's annual festival/talent show. The festival was a two day event (pretty intense when you think of how many precious hours of study time were sacrificed) that the students have been preparing for over the past 3 or so years. Seriously. It's like they're going to battle.
The first day of the festival was held outside of school in this super fancy-dancey (there really was a lot of dancing) sports stadium. All the students piled into a giant theater from 10am to 5 pm. There was seriously 6 hours of pure entertainment (one hour was spared to eat kimchi, of course). The festival was put on by the first and second grade students ... and each class prepared either a skit, musical act, dancing act, or some type of comedy routine. Absolutely every performance was amazing. Maybe it's just because I didn't really understand a thing they were doing, but never have I laughed so hard since I've been in Korea. There were so many performances (classes as a whole and individual students) that I can't possibly begin to recount all the amazing that took place. But I will attempt to bring you the finer points of the talent show:

One class played two Celine Dion songs (from Titanic ... I'm pretty sure her career exists solely within the limits of that movie) on some strange type of instrument that's shaped like the head of a golf club. Titanic was and still is a hugely popular movie in Korea, and a lot of my students have a strange fascination with Celine Dion (even though she is Canadian).

Many, many, many classes prepared dance routines to many of the now popular K-pop songs. While the choreography was mainly stolen from the millions of Korean music videos, the students did an amazing job actually pulling it off.
However, this was no easy task. Classes have been practicing their routines for countless hours between classes and after school, so as to be touted as the best dancers in the school. The dances that were by far the most popular were Brown Eyed Girls' "Abracadabra" ... which is a song/music video that is dedicated primarily to the art of pelvic thrusting, G-Dragon's "Heartbreaker" ... where student after student donned a blond wig and "jika jika jika tayed", and Girl's Generation's "Gee" ... a song thats chorus is nothing other than "gee gee gee gee, baby baby".
And in keeping with the authenticity of the K-pop performances all the students dressed the part of Korean pop stars. This required the girls to wear somewhat revealing / "shecksy" (sexy) outfits and the boys to find their tightest pair of jeans and borrow their mom's eyeliner for the day. Yes, I'm sad to say the teenage emo phase has also worked its way into the psyche of many a Korean boy.

Another class, instead of choosing to imitate their favorite K-pop group, decided that the best way to go was to cross-dress. They preformed some type of skit (all in Korean - so I understood about 5% of it) where every single student dressed as a person of the opposite gender. This rightfully included the use of balloon boobs, eyeliner mustaches, and every boy stomping around in high heels. It was absolutely hilarious and I'm sad that I can't fully capture the hilarity of it in writing. You'll just have to trust me. I mean, balloon boobs are usually always a good time.

In addition to using balloons as a means to enhance one's chest area, another class performed a skit where students stuck balloons down their pants, and then proceeded to blow them up with an air pump until they burst. Again, I have no idea exactly what they were doing ... but it provided quite the laugh.

Another class performed a magic / comedy routine where students completed various acts such as breaking pre-cut styrofoam boards in half, eating 12 jalapeno peppers at once, blowing balloons up with their noses, and amazing everyone with a special levitation act. However, in the midst of the levitation (where one student laid down on a table, covered himself with a blanket, and magically rose) the blanket fell off and the crowd witnessed the "magical" student doing push-ups underneath. I'm pretty sure that the blanket was, in fact, not supposed to fall off ... however the students handled it well and went with it. David Copperfield has some serious competition.

One first grade class danced a beautiful salsa dance (which they (and I) learned in sports-uh dance-uh class). However, the students felt that their dance would only be great if they all wore full-body animal costumes. I still have absolutely no idea why this seemed like the most logical idea ... but the entire class was dressed as kangaroos, dragons, and bumblebees ... dancing the salsa.
And it should be noted that this class wore their animal costumes to school and in class the next couple days. So as I walked around school in between classes I would occasionally pass by a dragon on his way to math, or a bumblebee heading to P.E. Seriously. I still don't understand Korea.

The crowd was also treated to a couple different "bands" throughout the day ... and the term "bands" loosely applies, in that it was mostly just some kids with a guitar, some drums, and the inability to keep time ... standing together on stage. However, you can't really fault them for not having that much practice. When you're studying at school for roughly 20 hours a day, practice time is hard to come by.
There were two student bands who performed rock songs - basically the repetition of a chorus that I was told meant "How could you do this to me?" in Korean ... although I swear it sounded like "but my butt is sore" ... and many found it strange when I couldn't stop laughing as they played.

There was also a band that was comprised of teachers ... complete with one of the science teachers in a "fashionable" hoodie and sunglasses in an attempt to appear more Eminem-like. Not quite sure why anyone would ever want to look like Eminem ... but he was pretty dead on. The teachers' band was somewhat more rehearsed and professional than the student bands ... and everyone got a kick out of seeing their teachers doing something other than swinging discipline sticks at them.

Another highlight of the festival (and probably my favorite act) was three students - one who played acoustic guitar, one on bongo drums, and one who sang Chris Brown's "With You". The singer ... one of my best 2nd grade boys - sang completely in English, and did a great job ... even though his rendition of "And the hearts all over the world tonight" sounded pretty similar to "And the farts all over the world tonight".

As amazing as the talent show was, please know that it was not void of some good American talent (i.e. me). Upon my arrival to Hwasun High School (within the very first week, actually) I was asked by many teachers exactly what type of dancing I would be doing at the festival. After considering the question for a while I answered, "American, of course" ... in hopes that they would soon forget that I agreed to dance at all.
Well they didn't forget, although I did. The week of the talent show the music teacher approached me and asked me to give her my "soundtrack" of all the music I would be dancing to. After telling her I would have to give it to her tomorrow, I went home and prepared a stellar dance routine. Seriously. It's good.
I memorized (and perfected) the dance sequence in "Napoleon Dynamite" and downloaded my "soundtrack" (Jamiroquoi's "Canned Heat"). After countless hours of practicing in my room (well, not really "countless hours" ... more like 1.5) I was ready to perform.
The next day at the festival I anxiously sat in the crowd awaiting my turn ... and getting more and more nervous after seeing how die-hard and serious all the students were. However, as the talent show went on, I was never called to the stage. I later discovered that the music teacher had already printed the programs before I gave her my "soundtrack", and thus verifying that I was actually going to dance. And since the show dragged on well beyond its scheduled time, there wasn't any room for me at the end.
I can't say I'm too disappointed ... but at least now I can break into a sweet dance routine at the drop of a hat ... which will happen.
But ... as I said earlier, I did get to share some of my dancing ability with the school. At the end of the show many of the teachers were dragged onto the stage by students and together we karaoked 2 Korean songs. (My attempt to karaoke was pretty much 'move my mouth and smile' ... it was a huge hit) During our second song students started chanting "Roren! Roren!" ... which I took to mean that they were calling on me ... so I stepped out in front of the group of teachers and held a little impromptu dance party, with only one guest - Roren.
The students absolutely loved it and afterward kept telling me how awesome my "American dances moves" are.
FYI: "American dance moves" = hand waving and pelvic thrusting (for anyone who was unaware)

The second day of the festival was filled with less dancing (although still a considerable amount), and was held at school. Basically all the students and teachers came to school to hang out, eat food, and attempt to turn a buck.
The teachers pretty much treated this like a regular day ... sitting in the teacher's lounge, doing anything and everything (really, everything ... have some beer, grade some tests, do various types of lunges, etc)
However, the students were given the day "free". In the morning each class tried to make money that would later go to buy something as a class (probably Pokemon cards ... not really, my students are way too cool for that). Each class did something different, although most made and sold different types of food. Although a few classes got pretty creative/lazy and went another direction. There were about 17 different classes, each doing their own thing ... this is what I found to be most amusing, entertaining, strange, etc:

One particular class that is a little difficult to manage and has some first grade boys who are in my "you are annoying and disruptive" pile set up a water balloon toss game, where they took a wooden board, painted a picture of Flounder and The Little Mermaid on it, and stuck about a million thumbtacks (pointing up) on the front side (don't worry, it was super safe ... not). Various boys then stuck their heads through both Flounder and Ariel's heads and allowed students and teachers to throw water balloons at them for about 50 cents. This worked amazingly well (most likely because I'm pretty sure many other students think these certain boys are pretty annoying) ... and they made a killing. Their faces got drenched and their pride a little squashed ... but they definitely made some money.
And I definitely made sure to have a go at it.

My all time favorite second grade class went a different route and attempted to create a "club-like atmosphere" and charge other students to come in and dance. They pulled all the blinds in their classroom, put blankets over all the windows (so it was completely dark), somehow managed to find a disco ball, and played "club" music on their class computer. But what really sold it for me was the fact that on the chalkboard in giant letters they wrote "da club".
However, da club wasn't a huge success ... when I came in (free of charge because I'm awesome, and American - that's really what they said) the only people in da club were the class themselves. (and "fity" ... but he's always at da club)

Other classes charged admission for students to come in and watch movies or Korean television dramas in their class. These classes made quite a bit of money ... and I was able to see about 20 minutes of the most disgustingly awful American slasher movie ever - which I was told was called "Summer Camp 4". But to be fair, I haven't seen "Summer Camps 1-3", so I was a little lost.

As for the many other classes who sold various foods, I was treated (well, I actually had to pay) for kimchi pizza (pretty disgusting), corn covered in cheese (why they thought this was a good idea, I'll never know), some hot chocolate, tea, and a banana. One class just sold bananas. Highly overpriced bananas, I should add.

The rest of the afternoon was filled with many soccer games, wrestling matches, and just down time to hang out and socialize. While most all of the other teachers stayed and worked in their offices I got to hang out with a lot of my students and have a great time.

The past couple weeks have been very enjoyable ... much more so than previous weeks ... and I am beginning to regain faith as to why exactly I am (still) in Korea.
But! With only 6 more days of actual classes to teach and only about 2 more weeks until winter vacation, the light at the end of the tunnel is (slowly) but surely growing. I'm taking this free time to my advantage and am planning to travel during the next couple weeks before I come home in late December.
I'm actually off to Jeju (the largest Korean island) for the weekend ... and really must hurry out the door ... my host brother, San-che (the man-che) is waiting.

Until next time ... stay classy America.