When I arrived home from school today there was a nun sleeping on the living room floor.

Lately I've been having this strange feeling that something is missing in my life.
300+ Korean children? Check.
Awkward encounters with just about everyone I meet? Check.
An annoying head cold? Check, unfortunately.
Extreme amounts of disgusting kimchi? No check!

So last weekend, in an attempt to pacify my need for tons (literally, tons) of kimchi, I headed to the Gwangju Kimchi Festival to soak up some culture and get a little nauseous. Both of which I accomplished.
I met up with a couple of friends and we ventured over to the annual Kimchi History and Culture Exhibition held in Gwangju's World-uh Cup-uh Stadium(no uh). To be completely honest, the festival was a little disappointing. I'm not sure exactly what I was expecting/hoping for, in that I've never been to a kimchi festival in my 23 years of life.
Upon arriving at the Kimchi Festival and being greeted with the intoxicating smell that is fermented cabbage, we wandered around and "observed" the many different dishes of kimchi that were on display.
"Oooh this one is red!"
"Oooh this one is redder!"
"Oooh this one is the reddest of all!"
We also got to see many pieces of what was called "kimchi art". To my disappointment it was not sculptures or things crafted from actual pieces of kimchi, however pictures depicting the social, environmental, and even political impact of kimchi on Korea. Seriously.
We also were able to get a free little mini tour around one of the art buildings by this fabulous little old man who spoke fairly good English. This tour consisted mostly of him making us follow him around the room as he pointed to things and said "Look. This is a (fill in name of the object). Look. Here is another (same object)."
In addition to the thrilling tour of the kimchi art/museum/building with random things thrown in it, I got to meet the ever popular Kimchi Festival mascot ... none other than a walking cartoon piece of cabbage. This actually makes sense in that cabbage is the main ingredient to most kimchi dishes, and it's not as bizarre as you might think it seems. However, this was the first time I think I have ever seen young children flock to a vegetable - especially a gross one like cabbage. But in their flocking the children seemed to turn into some type of angry child mob and began attacking the giant cabbage with their tiny little fists and poking his big cartoon eyes with their little pointy fingers. Poor guy couldn't catch a break. First you have to humiliate yourself by actually wearing a giant head of cabbage, then you get punched all day by vicious Korean children. So just to make sure cabbage guy's day wasn't completely awful, I let him take a picture with me. For posterity.
Though the cabbage head was a pretty great addition to my day of kimchi, I have to say the highlight of the festival was actually being able to make some kimchi myself. For the small price of only 5,000 wons I was able to smush red pepper paste in and around all the cabbage I wanted. Actually we were first given a tutorial about how to properly make kimchi ... which basically went, "Here is the cabbage. Here is a lot of other spicy things (pepper, fish(?) onions, more pepper, red gunk). Put them together. Finished! You are now Korean."
After diligent note taking so as to make sure I didn't forget any of the 2 steps, I was able to make my own kimchi and managed to successfully mush everything together in an acceptable manner ... which seriously took about 3 minutes. After I put to shame all the Koreans by way outshining them in the act of kimchi-making I threw my kimchi in a jar and headed home to present it to my host-family. I felt like a little kid who won a prize goldfish at the county fair. And I definitely was the recipient of more than a few weird looks as I was toting home a giant jar of kimchi on the bus that night.
I think my host-family seemed to like the kimchi I made. I never ate it(because they actually made us put fish in it - thus giving me a great reason why I didn't have to eat the stuff) but I think it went over well. I actually never saw my host-family eat it, but my host-mom assured me that it was delicious and that I am the best kimchi maker ever, as if I didn't already know that.
Side note: I received about 20 million free brochures at the festival ... if there's one thing Koreans like more than kimchi it's definitely brochures about kimchi. In one of the many brochures detailing the wonderful events of the festival I found this little jewel ... a short paragraph detailing one of the many "themed performances" the festival boasted ... this one affectionately titled "The Flight of Kimchi". Thought I would share to reiterate how absurdly serious Koreans are about their kimchi, and how it permeates every aspect of their lives, even their fantasies:

"The Flight of Kimchi"
"A story of a meeting between kimchi, a central icon of the Korean consciousness, and a goblin (naturally, a goblin). An exciting performance in three scenes: kimchi that had protected Koreans' health turning into a goblin: goblin turning into kimchi; and goblin defeating the modern epidemic H1N1 Virus (good, I'm glad someone is taking it seriously) that poses a threat to Korean lives and soaring into the skies."
What I would have given to see that ...

I have recently been able to meet with my English Club at school more often ... which is something I thoroughly enjoy. The club consists of about 5-10 students who are some of the best English students at school, and who actually come to my club out of their desire to learn more English and hang out with me. So naturally, I like them the best. In the past couple weeks I have let them come up with a general topic to discuss and then I try to create an activity for us all to do.
So far the topics of discussion have ranged from novels (where I got to talk about one of my favorite authors, Barbra Kingsolver her wonderful DePauw education), Halloween (which included me making my boy students dress up as princesses and mermaids using only newspaper), to Asian animation (where I basically sat there completely dumbfounded at their insane amount of computer/animation knowledge), and American and Korean television programs (where I got to share all that is great about "The Office".
During our two hours spent each week discussing movies, politics, novels, and eating finger sandwiches (not really, this isn't the "Finer Things Club") I have learned a lot about Korean culture and have been able to impart that oh-so-valuable-American culture to the minds of the little Asian ones, who truly seem to enjoy it.
Last week the topic of our discussion was "hopes and dreams and things that make you feel warm inside". I had each of my students write down their dreams ... anything they wanted ... and I did so too.
As most of my dreams were fairly simple, "I want to be happy when I grow up." ... and I believe one was, "I want to have a pet cat someday." ... one of my club students in particular completely out-shined (shone? I don't know, ask an English teacher) me and told of his plans to save the world and humankind (the Asian Will Smith, if you will). Here is the exact paragraph he wrote explaining his hopes and dreams ... I thought I'd post this, just so those of you who read this now don't have to keep worrying about the fate of humanity. Kim Hong Min has it under control.
Note: He is by far my most advanced student and is the only student in the school who speaks and writes (in English) at this level. And he is thus one of my new best Asian friends:

"I will bring Science Fiction movies into reality. You will be able to go to Mars, Mercury, etc. with your car. As we can bring any resources we need from other planets, we will never have to worry about the lack of resources. The same goes to the space. As we can go any planet we want, we have infinite space in space. :) To do this, I will need enough capital. And technology. It sounds like a dream, but pretty much everything we're using now can not have even been imagined by older people. As this comes true, pretty much every problem we're having right now will be solved. Someone will do that, and I'll be the one."
-- Kim Hong Min

In addition to saving the world and finding new resources on other planets via a flying car, my students last week learned about Halloween - at least I hope they learned ... who knows what they are actually thinking when I stand at the front of the class and speak what seems like Wingdings to them.
My lesson this past week was on Halloween (duh) and after I was done flipping through a slide show of jack-o-lanterns, candy, and dogs in costumes (which actually prompted one of my students to exclaim, "delicious!") I let them draw their own Halloween monsters together. This activity consisted of having one student draw a monster head, then giving their paper to another student to draw a body, then yet another student to draw the legs. While I thought this would be a nice thing for my students ... let them express their creative side with markers and stuff, I soon found that this only gave many of them an excuse to draw horribly inappropriate monsters, with an assortment of heads, bodies, legs, and genitalia. Funny, but I don't think I ever suggested they add that certain aspect to their monsters, yet it was a favorite accessory to most all of the monsters my boy students got their hands on.
Upon discovering the glorious creations, I hurriedly confiscated all the Hallo(wieners) ... fearing that if I didn't they would float around the school and somehow make their way into the hands of my fellow teachers.
Try explaining that in limited English.
So I now have a drawer full of Hallo(wiener) monsters. Just one of the many perks of teaching.

On a completely different and unrelated note, I recently attended my host-family's church yet again ... I mean, I think it's pretty much decided that when I have a free Sunday morning it will be spent in the pews of Gangwon Presbyterian church. However, this particular Sunday I was not baptized, but instead held my first ever English Sunday school / sing-along / let's allow these Korean kids stare at the funny American hour. All of which happened, all of which were awkward.
A couple weeks ago I met the church's pastor - and by met I mean fumbled my way through a Korean bow and I believe there was some mumbling involved ... something along the lines of "Hello. Nice to meet you. Thanks for the baptism."
The pastor took an immediate liking to me (I mean, how could you not ... but I do believe I was wearing the dress my host-mom made for me ... and when I wear that thing there's not an Asian in Korea that can't stop looking at me) and he thus asked my host-mom to schedule a meeting with me to discuss "church-y matters". So I recently met with him ... his English is actually quite good, though he does seem to add a "y" sound to absolutely every word in the English language. Cute-y at first extremely annoying-y about 2 minutes into a conversation with him. But Pastor man (I still can't remember his Korean name so this nickname will have to suffice) asked me if I was interested in leading an English Sunday school class every morning before church-y service, to which my host-mom enthusiastically answered that I would love to. Glad she took care of that for me. I hate it when I forget how to speak.
So I agreed to help teach English Sunday School classes on any Sunday that I have available and feel like waking up early. And apparently Pastor man believes that is now every Sunday.
Teaching English Sunday school now necessitates that I arrive to church-y before the church-y service starts, and since I don't have a Korean kar I did the next best thing, hopped in the backseat of some Audi with a crazy Korean lady who promised she would deliver me to God.
(The ride was actually arranged ... but it sounds cooler and more adventure-y if I say it like that).
But in reality the Korean kar was driven by a krazy Korean lady, and she did, eventually, promise to deliver me to Jesus. Close enough.
My ride buddy was actually a Korean lady who also attends the same church as my host-family and speaks very good English - she is a teacher at an English academy in Gwangju, so she knows her stuff. Like prepositions and conjunctions.
She was super sweet and really great to talk to ... and did leave me with one of the most interesting conversations I have had in Korea thus far.
I wasn't able to actually record the conversation in that I didn't have a recording device on me at the time (I'm not a spy) ... but here is a brief, paraphrased account of our conversation:

Lauren (L): Hello! Nice to meet you! Thanks for taking me to curch-y!
Krazy Korean Lady (KKL): Hello Roren! It's nice to meet you too! I'm excited you will be helping us with our English service!
L: You're welcome (I'm polite in Korea)
[This was followed by about 15 minutes of the standard "get to know you talk" ... but since most of you all know I'm 23 and from America ... I will spare you]
KKL: Do you love God?
L: Uh. [silence] I studied God in the university?
KKL: Oh. Ok. I love God. But I used to be a Buddhist.
[L's interest is peaked]
L: Really? Why the sudden change to Christianity? Buddha just not cutting it for you?
KKL: No. I still like Buddha, but God is better for me. About 10 years ago I became really ill [this is when she actually started telling me about her bladder problems ... just imagine urine everywhere] and Buddha didn't help me. So one of my friends made me go to church with her and so I started talking to God. And after 7 years of talking and praying to God to fix my illness he finally did. And now I thank him for it and am a Christian.
L: Fair enough. Get that Christianity (or something to that effect).
KKL: Yes. Jesus is great. Why did you come to Korea?
L: I came to teach English.
KKL: No. I'm sure you came for Jesus. You will find Jesus in Korea. I will help you.
(and so on, and so on)

So after meeting Krazy Korean lady (Hannah, actually) and getting a ride to church I met the other people I would be working with ... all of whom (including Hannah) are extremely sweet and even offered me squid chips!
English Sunday school was not exactly what I expected it to be (but then again, few things in Korea are) ... I actually ended up not teaching, but co-teaching or singing songs and pronouncing English words into a microphone for about an hour.
The pastor man's son led the lesson after the children got to hear me sing English church hymns for about 15 minutes (if that didn't deter them from learning English, I don't know what will) then pastor man's son told the children (who were around the ages of 5-9) the story of the Exodus from Egypt ... a thrilling tale. I then retold it in English and repeated the difficult words, and the children repeated them back to me.
Why the phrase "like a pillar of salt" would ever arise in the conversation of a 6 year old Korean boy, I have no idea. But I assume it would go something like this:
"Man. Lot's wife really caught the short end of the stick. Looking back and all ... then (bam!) like pillar of salt."
But all in all the children seemed to enjoy it, I think. At least they got to marvel at the brown hair and giant eyeball-ness of a Westerner. And that's always a good time.

After church I was pleasantly surprised by finding out that my entire host-family (even host-father!) went out to Sunday brunch. We ate at a delicious Japanese sushi restaurant ... which basically turned into a delicious Japanese rice, soup, and tofu balls restaurant for me ... but it was great to sit down with the family and take in some good host-family time.
It has been a while since my entire host-family and I had been together - as the dad is always working and the children are always busy with work or school - so I thoroughly enjoyed the company of everyone.
Some highlights of the lunching:
My host father actually cracking quite a few jokes (in Korean, of course) which caused everyone to laugh (including myself ... I figure if everyone else is, it's got to be decently funny)
My host brother (who is 21) refused to drink his soda out of the many available glasses, and instead opted to drink only from bowls. This caused my host-mother to exclaim that he is "crazy man boy" ... and my host-father explained to me (via Eun Sue's translation) that because he is an artist he is weird and doesn't use the correct side of his brain ... so you have to forgive him for being so awkward. The rest of the day ... and many days following ... all the strange things that my host-brother does (which are starting to accumulate) are now pushed to the side because we now know that he is an "artist" and can thus get away with being crazy.
I'm assuming this is also how they justify the weird things I do (use a water bottle, wear pants) "it's ok ... she's a foreigner ... she doesn't use the correct side of her brain".
My host-mother once again wore a skull cap to a "fancy" lunch. Biggie's got nothing on her.
My host-family apologizing to me every time the waitress brought out a meat dish, and shoving the giant plate of salad even closer to my plate.
My host-mother yelling at my oldest host-sister for using a toothpick, because she says it would make her teeth ugly and then she would never be able to get married. Apparently personal hygiene falls to the wayside when you are an unmarried 20-something female in Korea. Good to know.

It snowed today in Hwasun.
For the first time. (since I've been here, not ever)
Snowed.
Granted it was only for about 2 minutes ... but it was 2 of the 5 minutes it takes me to walk from the bus stop home.
Tomorrow I'm going to demand to make Frosty.